Marlene Blackwinter, and while many detractors wish I would just die, that’s not going to happen for a LONG time to come. So, all of my detractors, enemies and hasslers better just resign themselves to the fact I am here in this world to stay, and know a bit more about things than they think.
As some of you know, I was dead once, after the home-invasion incident a few years back when I was in ICU for a week. I was full-flatline, both EEG & EKG for 3 minutes and 43 seconds.
That was an experience I Treasure, and I will always be more grateful than I can ever speak to the staff who didn’t give up on trying to resuscitate me…they kept the ‘door’ wedged open for me to come back and rejoin this world and Husband.
I could have remained there, and I was tempted, but I Chose to return because I would not accept the price of choosing to remain:
Breaking the heart of the Man I married ad who has given me such a terrific life and taught me so much.
I didn’t return for some ‘Great Purpose’, I came back out of love for the Man who gave me a a genuine Life instead of wasting my days in a 1 bedroom apartment in the city with a mind-numbing job as I was doing.
What was it like? Wonderful…but even now, years later, it is extremely difficult to frame in words. I don’t think it’s meant to be framed in words, as there just are NO words for aspects of that experience. That is why I speak little about it, I simply have very little that I am able to convey in the limits of language. It feels like being a mouse and trying to give a PhD. thesis on the collected history of Art and Science together.
I take my Native Aboriginal American ancestry seriously. I never sought it out, I found my way back to the Band of my Great-Grandmother by happenstance and marriage. It was only when I wore a bracelet and a necklace that I found in all the ‘remnant estate’ stuff that came from England that the Elders of the Band started getting curious.
Which led to things being asked, old heirlooms, letters and photographs found, compared, carefully assessed. And I learned who I was, where a significant part of m came from, and a very precious part of my Geneology and Family history I never knew about.
My Great-Grandfather came across from England for ONE reason; To find & marry a Native American woman, to record and study as much of Native culture as he could, as he knew it was rapidly being made Extinct. He came close to being killed more than once, but perservered, and eventually found my Great-Grandmother and her Band. He stayed two years, learning, living and studying before he left for England with her. In that time, he left an impression that exists even today as well as evidence in the form of personal possessions he left behind, that he had made Gifts of to Band members.
In England, he encouraged my Great-Grandmother to continue the Native Traditions and living as best as possible, and helped her do so as much as Humanly possible–and in that day and age, it could NOT (and was not) a simple matter.
He also worked out ways for her to send letters to her Band, some of those old letters exist even today, I’ve held them, read them, and while she missed her family, she was genuinely happy. In time, she had children, one of whom was my Grandmother, who went on to serve in WW2: She was with British Intelligence, and dropped alone into France to aid the French Resistance in getting up to speed and serious effectiveness. She was raised ‘Native’ by my Great-Grandmother, which made all the difference in her surviving that assignment and flourishing in it, very much to the detriment of Nazi Germany and more than a few Nazi soldiers..
Life led to my being born, and in time I met a rather Interesting Man, whom I would later marry…and whom is from the same Band as my Great-Grandmother, and also the conduit that led me me back to the land my Great-Grandmother walked and the people she loved. I don’t look Native, I have a ‘hand-me-down’ Brit accent, and was born to British parents who left England for Canada. I’m Norse-fair skinned and 6’3 in bare feet courtesy of my Grandfather who was just a hair over 7’0 himself.
I am the Last of my British/European lineage, which is now Extinct in Europe & Britain…but I am among Family, here in these lands I inadvertantly found my way Home to.
They have embraced me as family, love me, teach me and help me find my way deeper into our culture, the nuances of genuine understanding regarding the ‘how’, the ‘why’, the history. That I returned my Great-Grandmother’s blood to her lands & people, by happenstance, seems in some way quite significant to our Elders, but I am happy to hear is not ‘unique’ and is occuring more & more.
My loyalty is to my people, The First Peoples Of The Nations. That loyalty extends to & includes the documents known colloquially as the American Constitution also, as they carry a universal truth the Peoples Of The Nations have always known.
But, I give NO allegiance to any government but what we Native Aboriginal Americans are making for ourselves, and history will show plainly why I do not:
They do not deserve it.
They have done nothing to earn it.
They keep PROVING we are right in extending NO trust to them.